words left unsaid
by sillyangelxo
Summary: Post-BTC. LoganCamille. / "I mean, this was what we wanted right? To see other people?" A fleck of sadness shown in her brown eyes. "Oh. Right."
1. forget you

**Summary:** With Logan and Camille, there were always words left unsaid: things they wanted to say, couldn't say, or never got a chance to say.  
**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.  
**Reminder:** Takes place during or around the episode Big Time Crush! ;)

* * *

_ w o r d s • l e f t • u n s a i d ._

* * *

**O1: Camille.**

You know when you're a little kid on the big kid playground, minding your business, making a volcano out of tanbark, and a bully suddenly comes up and destroys all your hard work with a swift kick of his or her foot?

Yeah, love feels like that. Except, even after the anger you feel at that meanie, or as much as you want to throttle them or call them a "berry bad word" (in little kid lingo), you kind of forget about the whole thing and go on your merry way, already constructing a new volcano.

I wish I could go back to those times when I was young, naïve, and stupid, and where my mind just easily forgot _everything_. Because right about now, I feel pretty shitty.

I know, I know…Camille Rogers is the Method Actress Queen of the Palm Woods. I am an actress, and part of the job description does require some relatively decent skills at the art of faking. Well guess what, I think I might just win a Golden Globe, because I've just performed a pretty damn good performance.

Kidding.

I mean, it wasn't that good. After all, I could already feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and if there's one thing I didn't want Logan to see was me crying. _Camille_, of all people, who'd — of course — be oh-so dramatic. Yes, that's me, crazy Camille for you. Except, you know, sometimes I don't want to pretend anymore. Because it hurts too much to.

But of course, we must go on with the show.

_This is it, huh?_ I thought, closing the door on Logan, and slipping against the doorframe.

I hope Logan didn't hear me weeping, because that would've been terrible. I didn't want to bring his mood down for his date with Peggy. God I wish I could hate her. But she is so freakishly nice, and smart, and shy, and…she's so much like Logan it hurts. Because of course he'd be attracted to her! And who was to say he couldn't date other people? We broke up after all.

_We broke up._

You know, I thought we still had a thing. Even if we weren't dating, there was still something; there was still a spark. But I guess it's all gone now, extinguished by his new found interest in Peggy. With her long, golden hair straightened to perfection, and stylish, black-rimmed glasses that scream Ivy League student. Not to mention mellow; whereas I'm the crashing waves against the seashore, she's the calm wind wafting in the new, alluring scent of attraction in the air. I'm not going to lie: I'm outright jealous.

Because who does this chick think she is, leisurely strolling into the Palm Woods stealing _my man?_

_He's not yours anymore Camille,_ my conscious reasons. Thanks for the comfort, self. I'm bawling here, all alone on a Saturday night over a guy I might just have loved, and you go in with your wise words of comfort. Thank you oh so much.

Wow, I'm pathetic. Here I am dateless. On a Saturday night. Alone. Crying over the guy who's chasing someone else.

What happened to strong-willed Camille? Camille, who didn't have a boyfriend before, and didn't mind? The one who wasn't so desperate as to keep chasing someone who's been long gone for awhile now? Gosh!

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

What does that make me now?

I chuckle into my palms; it comes out croaky and fake and disgusting, but I laugh anyways. And then I smash my head once again against the doorframe, in hope that I'll get a concussion or something. Something to prevent me from thinking about Logan, Peggy, Logan and Peggy, or that I, Camille, am not a part of Logan's love equation any longer. He always did love math.

This fact, simple as it was, rattles me. Because here I am, having put so much effort into a loss cause; it proves that even the quirks I know about Logan, like how he flosses after every meal in fear of gingivitis, or how he's scared of clowns, went all to waste.

Because I'm not Camille, Logan's girlfriend.

I'm Camille, his cool friend who totally understands that he's hooked on someone else, and he kind of wants to date her.

I bang my head against the door again. The collision is harder than I expected, and at contact pain shoots through my head. I laugh again.

_My, Camille, how you've fallen._

Amidst my current state, I hear a faint jingle coming from my jean pocket. I'm tempted to chuck my cell phone across the room, but decide otherwise.

"Hello?" I mumble into the receiver. God, I sound like shit.

"Camille?" From the voice, I can tell it's that one guy Steve. He's really nice, although shy, having only recently arrived at the Palm Woods.

"Oh." I say, somewhat depressed. _Who were you expecting?_ I ask myself, but am quick not to answer. "Hi Steve."

"Oh! So—um, I was wondering…if maybe…"

Oh no, no, no. Please no. Not right now.

"…if you'd like to—to, um, catch that new movie _Kiss and Tell_…"

I really didn't need this.

"…with me."

He sounded so sincere and hopeful. And he was nothing but nice to me; I didn't want to crush his spirits. But I was in no mood for a date, especially if Logan was likely taking Peggy out to that very same movie…and yet…

"…if I—I mean, if you want to. If you're up for it…if not, that's…that's okay too…"

"I'm…" I began, a knot forming in my stomach. I think I'm gonna be sick; before I could stop myself, the words flew out of my mouth, "…Sure—sure, Steve. I…it'll be fun."

What was I supposed to say?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hello there fellow Lomille shippers :D I'm sillyangelxo, newcomer to this lovely fandom hahah ;) Anyhow, I couldn't take how Big Time Crush ended! I swear, the writers are getting really good at cliff-hangers and continous plotlines, it's become irksome! And yet, I appreciate the fact that they're adding a little bit more spice into the mix xD Anyhow, I hope you liked! Review, neh? :P


	2. next to you

**O2: Logan.**

I think my heart just gave out.

"This is Steve…my date."

No, that is scientifically incorrect. Hearts do not give out, nor look the way they appear to be on Valentine cards, chocolate boxes, or lollipops. They also aren't physically filled with these human faults known as emotions, and they certainly do not gush out or explode every time an external force dares to threaten its well-being.

No, no, no. That is not scientifically correct.

But right now, my voice is stuck in my throat and I feel like I've been sucker-punched in the gut. I feel like my heart's stopped right then and there, and I'm just aimlessly staring at the girl I had just thrown away another for.

"Logan, did you want to say something?"

_Say something,_ I tell myself. _Say something you god-damn idiot, or I swear I will personally kick your ass._

Camille raises her slender brow in question and she smiles; I don't know if it's one of those awkward things exes give each other when the other introduces him to her date, or if she's genuinely interested in what I've got to say.

_Say something!_

"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry 'bout it."

.

I, Logan Mitchell, am an idiot; a complete and utter idiot. And that says a lot if it's coming from me, straight A student and doctor-to-be Logan Mitchell. Sure, I may not be the brightest when it comes to street smarts, but hey, book smarts has always gotten me by.

Except now. After all, how are linear inequalities, the theory of evolution, and Mendel's Laws of Assortment supposed to help me cope with a broken heart? These things are all backed up by proof and reason and rationales, whereas the feeling of rejection is supported by silly actions, emotions, and thoughts, all governed by the conscious mind of an idiot. See, I am an idiot. I am a failure. If love was a test I would fail horribly.

_Logan, what is love to you?_

Well sir, love is composed of a series of emotions, which include but are not subject to, happiness, sadness, anger, the sensational feeling of completeness, and the powerful urge to be with your significant othe—

_Wrong, wrong, wrong! What do you know about love idiot?_ My mind argues. _Camille is strolling happily with a guy that isn't you._

The operative word is happily. She does look happy, especially from behind, as I see her leaning towards Steve, as if to say something funny; it _is_ one of her charms after all.

And here I am, munching on a small-sized popcorn—are you kidding me, this thing's humongous!— weeping away like a little boy. My gaze is focused on the small of her back, head, arms, legs, dress—the one she knows I love—and I can't help the clenching feeling that's inhabited my stomach.

But it's not the worst part. The worst part is she's not looking back: she keeps walking and walking, as if she's telling me, _this is what you wanted right?_ And I'm staring, staring, staring, hoping she'll prove me wrong, like she's always done—because let's face it, Camille is a lot more clever and smart than people tend to give her credit for—but she keeps walking and walking, conversing with Steve.

Steve, who I may just hate at this very moment.

Steve, who's taken _my_ place next to Camille, strolling into the movie theatre to watch _Kiss and Tell._

_Oh God,_ I think, still watching as they disappear through the vast darkness of the double doors. Right now, I don't know if I hate Steve for taking her away, or having the balls to do what I wish I could.

.

_The Unicorn Princess_ isn't so bad. Sure, there's a whole lot of pink—too much for a guy to handle—but the story's nice and the children are innocent. They know nothing of the evil that lurks in the human realm, what dangers lie ahead. All they care about is finding a unicorn to ride off into the sunset with. I wish I had that, I really do.

Because despite the cheeky voices and adorable animation, this cannot distract me from the fact that as Kendall, James, Carlos, and I got up to ditch _Kiss and Tell_ for _The Unicorn Princess,_ I caught the sight of both Camille and Steve, so immersed in the movie, moving to reach for the popcorn simultaneously, where they accidentally brushed hands; and in doing so looked up at one another, a faint blush smeared across Steve's face, and Camille's eyes averted downward as if embarrassed by the incident.

And all I could think, standing there gaping like an idiot, glued to the stairs before being ushered away by Kendall, James, or Carlos—I honestly cannot remember—was that Steve may sure be some heck of a guy if he's got Camille's knickers in a twist. _I _could never do that, so what did Steve have that I didn't?

I contemplated this throughout the duration of the movie, and before I knew it the lights blinked on and the credits were rolling on the screen. It took me a few seconds to process this, but after the loud, "LOGAN, ARE YOU THERE?" courtesy of Carlos, I got up and filed out of the theatre with everyone else.

I wanted to go home: I was tired, sullen, and rejected, and that should be explanation enough. But the guys—who were now pretty happy, having thoroughly enjoyed _The Unicorn Princess_—dashed into the arcade to play video games and tease Katie about her and her date. I would've been right there with them too, but I just wasn't in the mood for it.

So there I sat, on the very table I was rejected at. You'd think that for such a location, I would've tried my very best to avoid it. But I sat there anyway, still in shock, still wondering if what I'd seen and heard were true, or if it was just my imagination. But then I spot Camille and Steve filing out of their theatre too, all smiles and laughter, and I get that whole sinking feeling all over again.

Elbow propping my face up from the table, I watched them—feeling like a bit of a stalker—as Steve mumbled something to her and headed somewhere else, which I soon assumed as the bathroom. Then I looked at Camille again: alone, waiting, curls draped like curtains by her side, framing her face, accentuating her body.

She caught me staring at her.

And ultimately decided to give me a little wave, which proceeded with footsteps, coming closer, closer…

Toward me.

I panicked, thoughts racing through my head: _Why is Camille coming over? What should I say?_

These thoughts were trashed, however, when she appeared in the flesh before me.

"Hey," she greeted, accompanied with her trademark smile.

"Hey," I gulped. Not knowing what to say, I offered her my seat. She declined, opting to stand still before me, where for once we stood at an equal eye level.

"So…?" she trailed off.

"So…?" I echoed.

"Did you like the movie?"

"Oh," I scratched my head, "well…we didn't get to finish _Kiss and Tell_…I mean, well you see, James had tickets to _The Unicorn Princess_—" my cheeks adopted a faint blush,"—and well, _Kiss and Tell_ was kind of boring…and we left. Yeah, we left." My explanation was longer than necessarily, and I mentally slapped myself. Why do I always get shy in front of a girl? Camille, no less!

"Oh," she replied, "Yeah, I saw."

_What?_ I thought. _She saw me? But if she saw me, then…Oh my god._ She saw me gaping like a fish, staring at her and Steve from the stair steps. The last thing I needed was her to know I was jealous.

"Logan," Camille started after a while, breaking me out of my reverie. I peered at her, playing with her curls, twirling it with her fingers, and replied,

"Hmm?"

"About earlier…when we were talking," She began, and my insides twisted again, "About Steve…" The mention of Steve triggered my senses. I knew what this was; I knew that tone. This sounded vaguely familiar from the times when we lived in Minnesota: James would get me a girl, and we'd go on a double date I'd think was fun; but when it all came down to it, they all ended up the same way.

_You're a great guy, but I'm just not that into you._

She was showering me with pity for all that had happened earlier, and for some reason, I could feel a vein throb in my temple; I didn't usually get mad, but this was surprisingly enraging. _Why am I feeling this way?_

"No, it's okay," I said, the words coming out harsher than I intended. "I mean, this was what we wanted right? To see other people?"

Her eyes widened like saucers: surprise dwelled in her irises. But what I caught a second later caught me off guard: a fleck of sadness shown in her brown eyes, which disappeared from my view as she bowed her head to avoid my gaze. But like a flick of a switch, it was there, but then it wasn't, as she lifted her head up to reveal a more noticeable anger in them, her face, and body gestures.

"Oh. Right."

And then she receded, words left unsaid in the tensed air, stalking off to where she came from: to Steve, emerging from the bathroom, tugging on his arm toward the direction of the exit.

I watched, as I tend to do now, as uneasiness washing over me for about the billionth time this night.

What had I done now?

* * *

**Author's Note:** MY GOSH! So much writing~ This one is rather long, isn't it? I know it was prolonged—maybe too much, haha—and moving rather slowly, but it is all part of the story—which I am still figuring out! ;) Logan was really difficult to write! Where I could whip out a chapter for Camille in a matter of two days, I struggled with Logan. I have to say, I'm pretty happy how he's portrayed: the way I see it, Logan's a smart guy, but he doesn't let his emotions get the best of his brains a lot of the time. Whereas Camille's the opposite, and far more easier to write because of that. I have to say, this chapter's a lot less creative from the last, but it does kind of match their personalities, right? Haha. I talk too much. But the dialogue! Ah, I suck at dialogue. xD

One thing, though! This is just pure fun, but if you guys haven't read any books by SARAH DESSEN, you should! She's my all-time favorite author, and she tends to do a lot of realistic fiction. She's awesome, and I just finished reading her book _Along for the Ride_ recently. Go read it! And her others too ;)

I hope this chapter wasn't too boring for you,

sillyangelxo :)

**EDIT:** Oh my gosh, how could I forget? THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING THE FIRST CHAPTER! Really made my day ;) You guys are beyond awesome.


End file.
